The Rosenthals had an outstandingly happy and successful marriage, and
Mr. Rosenthal was once asked to what he attributed this remarkable
"It's simple," he said. "Division of labor. My wife makes all the
small, routine decisions. She decides what house we buy, where we go on
vacation, whether the kids go to private schools, if I should change my
job, and so on."
"I make the big, fundamental decisions. I decide if the United States
should declare war on China, if Congress should appropriate money for a
manned expedition to Mars, and so on."
I think the secret to a happy marriage is anything but a man abdicating
his responsibilities at home. It is quite the opposite. Being fully
engaged at home is the answer to the problems most of us face in our
Having established what Godly leadership in the home really means for
men, Last week we started with Submission – or â€œLovingly and
willingly Yielding to an authority established by God.â€ Far from
being demeaning it is a tremendous offering of faith and faithfulness
to the Father.
In addition to Submission then, a wife faithful to God willâ€¦.
Support Your Husband.
Briefly Iâ€™d summarize that as affirming and strengthening his leadership.
If we look at Genesis 2:18 â€œThen the Lord God said, â€œIt is not good
for the man to be alone; I will make him a helper suitable for him.â€
youâ€™ll discover that you were designed, ladies, to be complimentarian
to your husband. You werenâ€™t created to be behind him or in front of
him, you were created both to be at his side as his equal. And you were
created to be beneficially different.
Itâ€™s not about the song, â€œAnything he can do, I can do betterâ€¦ I
can do anything better than youâ€¦â€ The differences between male and
female both physical, emotional, and capable should be celebrated not
blurred and ignored. Iâ€™d wager that itâ€™s a misunderstanding here
that has lead to general discontent.
So what are some of the ways you can support his authority?
Hereâ€™s one that works quite well for today. While once upon a time it
used to be culturally problematic for a woman to work outside of the
home – thatâ€™s no longer the case. In fact itâ€™s very nearly expected
for a woman to have a so called â€œreal Jobâ€ (Though personally I
take offense at the concept that taking care of the home is somehow
less than a real job.)
I suppose the question someone might raise is something like, â€œHow
biblical is it – for a woman to work outside of the home?â€ Iâ€™d say
with some caveatâ€™s that itâ€™s plenty biblical.
Every woman is at least moderately familiar with the proverbs 31 woman.
Every Motherâ€™s day she is exalted as the standard of feminine
perfection. Some of you rejoice to hear it, and otherâ€™s cringe inside
because you feel like youâ€™ll not only never be her, but you really
donâ€™t want to be. Though Iâ€™d wonder if the latter was for a lack of
But listen to Proverbs 31:10-31 and listen for how frequently this
excellent wife is described as a business woman!
"An excellent wife, who can find? For her worth is far above jewels.
The heart of her husband trusts in her, And he will have no lack of
gain. She does him good and not evil All the days of her life. She
looks for wool and flax And works with her hands in delight. She is
like merchant ships; She brings her food from afar. She rises also
while it is still night And gives food to her household And portions to
her maidens. She considers a field and buys it; From her earnings she
plants a vineyard. She girds herself with strength And makes her arms
strong. She senses that her gain is good; Her lamp does not go out at
night. She stretches out her hands to the distaff, And her hands grasp
the spindle. She extends her hand to the poor, And she stretches out
her hands to the needy. She is not afraid of the snow for her
household, For all her household are clothed with scarlet. She makes
coverings for herself; Her clothing is fine linen and purple. Her
husband is known in the gates, When he sits among the elders of the
land. She makes linen garments and sells them, And supplies belts to
the tradesmen. Strength and dignity are her clothing, And she smiles at
the future. She opens her mouth in wisdom, And the teaching of kindness
is on her tongue. She looks well to the ways of her household, And does
not eat the bread of idleness. Her children rise up and bless her; Her
husband also, and he praises her, saying: â€œMany daughters have done
nobly, But you excel them all.â€ Charm is deceitful and beauty is
vain, But a woman who fears the Lord, she shall be praised. Give her
the product of her hands, And let her works praise her in the gates."
(Pr 31:10-31, NASB95)
Depending on your definition of Business- no less than 12 times in this
very brief text she is described in terms of business transactions
benefiting not only her family but also her customers and even the
poor. Sheâ€™s described in
terms of a fortune 500 company. Nothing demeaning there or so I would
So what guidelines are given in the scriptures for supporting your
husband in the work you do? Numbers chapter 30:6-16 represents the
answer to this question in the realm of vows. And if you think of
business dealings in light of a vow being made to another – than the
lesson we gain here is one of
Yielding your work to your husband.
. Business deals would only constitute a
portion of making vows but the principle is consistent with scripture.
Stepping away from the work-a-day world there are ways to support your
husband at home. Let me just briefly mention two, and then weâ€™ll move
Meet his physical needs 1 Corinthians 7:2-6
Corinthians 7:2-6 describes part of being a godly husband as meeting
his wifeâ€™s intimate needs than the same is also true of being a godly
Thirdly ladies you support your husband when you
Take supremacy over every other human relationship in his life.
2:24 is too often over looked. â€œFor this reason a man shall leave his
father and his mother, and be joined to his wifeâ€¦â€
Now if you look closely you can see that the burden here lies upon the
men (as it does everywhere else in a faithful family. But the fact is
ladies, once the marriage vows are made, you are supposed to have the
supreme position to your husband rather than his father and mother. The
burden rests upon the husband and yet I mention it here rather than
elsewhere for two reasons.
1) Too many women are frustrated by â€œmommaâ€™s boysâ€.
2) It demonstrates some dignity for you ladies by elevating you to
where you belong.
In terms of relationships there is no human relationship which is
supposed to take precedent over a man and his wife. Not work, not
Children. Only God takes supremacy here, for this is the relationship
that He created. And he alone is worthy of being first above
For this week let us close with this prayer, â€œThat God will be first
in our families, and that we in turn might live and function towards
one another as faithful men and women of God.â€
"and be subject to one another in the fear of Christ.
Wives, be subject to your own husbands, as to the Lord. For the husband
is the head of the wife, as Christ also is the head of the church, He
Himself being the Savior of the body. But as the church is subject to
Christ, so also the wives ought to be to their husbands in everything.
Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and
gave Himself up for her, so that He might sanctify her, having cleansed
her by the washing of water with the word, that He might present to
Himself the church in all her glory, having no spot or wrinkle or any
such thing; but that she would be holy and blameless. So husbands ought
also to love their own wives as their own bodies. He who loves his own
wife loves himself; for no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes
and cherishes it, just as Christ also does the church, because we are
members of His body. For this reason a man shall leave his father and
mother and shall be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one
flesh. This mystery is great; but I am speaking with reference to
Christ and the church. Nevertheless, each individual among you also is
to love his own wife even as himself, and the wife must see to it that
she respects her husband." (Eph 5:21-33, NASB95)