It’s curious to me why God didn’t tell Joseph the news about the virgin birth at the same time He told Mary or, even more curious (since I know God always has His reasons), whether or not Mary ever told or tried to tell her betrothed the life-changing news (for them both) that God had shared with her weeks or more likely months before Joseph had his dream?
The text in Matthew 1:18-25 never says anything like “you can believe what Mary said about where the baby came from” or even lets Joseph know that Mary is already on board with the plan.
In addition, while the text says that Joseph was a “righteous” man who clearly demonstrated a balance of being both moral and merciful, (Matthew 1:19), he also had to have had some issues of his own to deal with as he would clearly be the one identified as most likely responsible for Mary’s being with child before they were technically married and allowed to consummate the relationship.
I know that there may have been more to the discussion between the angel of the Lord and Joseph than what’s recorded in the Bible and I know that Matthew, just like the other gospel writers, had his reasons for what he did and didn’t include and I know that the culture and all that was very different back then than it is today, especially in the U.S., but short of being commanded by God not to tell anyone, I don’t know how Mary couldn’t or why she wouldn’t try to help Joseph understand, assuming of course, she wasn’t and she didn’t.
That said, I also trust there was a good reason (or should I say “God reason”) for why she didn’t, if she didn’t.
Anyway, my recent study of this passage has given me a whole new understanding of and appreciation for the pain and confusion Joseph must have gone through both from a standpoint of feeling betrayed and from a position of total confusion and a potential lack of ANY information, if there was indeed no effort by Mary to explain the real reason for her condition, instead waiting for God to do so in His timing.
I welcome any comments, insight or enlightenment others may wish to share on this.