This is Not a Thyroid Blog

This entry is part 4 of 4 in the series Hashimoto's Thyroiditis

But it is a blog affected by Thyroid. My last decade has been deeply affected by thyroid and I had no clue. I stopped blogging, and interacting online over the last few years because I couldn’t muster the energy. Now I’m discovering it was likely all about that bow-tie shaped gland in my neck. The thyroid gland sits below the Adam’s apple on your throat and takes the shape of a bow-tie. (The women call it a butterfly shaped gland, but I prefer bowtie.) Some of the over three hundred (300!) symptoms of Thyroid problems had started affected me terribly. I don’t want to list all of them, but there are a few that became hallmarks of who I am/was. Terrible Memory I imagine at least that I’m a fairly smart guy.  But within the last ten years no matter how smart I think I may be I couldn’t remember anything. My life became one great big worry about the hereafter. Meaning I would constantly walk into a room and wonder what I’m here after. Needing a cup of coffee I would walk into the kitchen with my cup in hand and between my office and the kitchen (less than 10 feet) would forget what I was going in there […]

The lesson of wisdom is, be not dismayed by soul-trouble. Count it no strange thing, but a part of ordinary ministerial experience. C. H. Spurgeon

The End of Apathy

This entry is part 3 of 4 in the series Hashimoto's Thyroiditis

It is the most “sinful” thing I have to say. For an incredibly long time I have struggled with cyclical bouts of intense apathy. I have always believed these bouts to be uprisings of sin within my flesh. Normally accompanied with excessive fatigue, I chastised the “laziness” that had gripped my flesh. So I’d press on till the fog lifted just a little, but I’d quietly fear its return. During these periods my thinking became even more cloudy than normal, even the simplest things slipped my mind. Out of frustration with my own memory problems I frequently joked that if I came down with Alzheimer’s disease, it would take five years for anyone to notice. It’s not funny. I often reasoned in my spirit that if I only had more faith these things would go away! But they never did. Some days I sat in my office unable to so much as move and tried desperately as I called out to God to just wake me up! He never did. During these seasons I functioned only an act of sheer will. I was depressed. I asked my doctor for antidepressants tried them for a few months to no effect and gave up on them.  Maybe I just needed to pray more. […]

Quiet please

This entry is part 2 of 4 in the series Hashimoto's Thyroiditis

Shhhh. Today my voice is slightly better, although not strong. It hurts after talking last night while bowling. I constantly feel as if I’m about to strangle on nothing at all. My run through prednisone land gave me some of my voice back – but now I’m in free fall again. It was just a five or six day cycle, and now that I’m weaned off of it, my throat has been tightening back up. Which I’m guessing means my thyroid is swelling or growing again. If I needed any proof, when I got home last night, I sneezed and nearly fell out of my chair in agony. Yup. It’s back. As it turns out, I apparently have Hashimoto’s Thyroiditis – a common enough autoimmune disease in which (for reasons nobody really knows) the body’s defenses turn on the thyroid and attempt to destroy it. As I understand it, the war being waged by myself against myself caused the thyroid to inflame and impinge upon the nerve bundle passing through it, which is responsible for voice quality. Tada: my primary presenting problem. Usually it affects women. In fact, depending on where you read, the ratio of women to men affected with Hashimoto’s is somewhere between 10:1 and 50:1. Hooray. I’m rare. […]

“If anyone thinks himself to be religious, and yet does not bridle his tongue but deceives his own heart, this man’s religion is worthless.” (James 1:26, NASB95)