Scene 1

Everyone but the Music Director enters, there are a few chairs on the stage.

DIRECTOR: OK everyone let’s get the stage cleared off, and let’s get the lights adjusted. I’ve got the script here (Oh, Where’s the script?!?! – wait, here it is. Everyone line up.

Everyone tries to move the chairs, a few are joking around – lots of jostling around.
Music leader comes running in out of breath

MUSIC LEADER: Sorry I’m late, you wouldn’t believe the time I had getting here.

DIRECTOR: Well have you got all of the music picked out?

MUSIC LEADER: No I thought you said you were picking it out.

DIRECTOR: {obviously irritated, responds rudely}What? OK, never mind let’s just… well… get a hymnal and this copy of the script and go pick out some music.

MUSIC LEADER: just like that? Come on, you know that takes time.

DIRECTOR : well we don’t have more time… just do your best, hopefully it will be good enough.

MUSIC LEADER: [obviously insulted] Whatever…. {sits down to look at the hymnal}

meanwhile, everyone else has started talking in low whispers or jostling around.

DIRECTOR:C’mon people, let’s see now… First thing I need is Mary and Joseph.

MARY & ANGEL{together} I want to be Mary!

DIRECTOR: Well you can’t both be Mary,{pointing to one girl and giving her a script} you’ve got dark hair you be Mary,{pointing to the other girl and giving her a script} and you be the angel.


DIRECTOR:{pointing out each person and handing them a “script”}OK, you be the Narrator since you’re the oldest and probably don’t want to wear the costumes. And you be Joseph, and you’d make a great Innkeeper…{assign any extra’s as a wise-men, or a king etc.} Wait is this all we’ve got? I still need more wise-men, at least four shepherds, thirteen sheep and a dancing llama! How am I supposed to… OK, just…. forget it. Let’s work with what we’ve got then, we’ll throw out the other parts and just…{disappointed} man I really wanted that llama!

NARRATOR: Dude, what were you going to do with a llama?

DIRECTOR: {obviously upset} Never mind it doesn’t matter nowdoes it?

MUSIC LEADER: Will you please stop snapping at everybody, you’re the one that wanted this Christmas pageant anyway aren’t you?

DIRECTOR: Yeah, OK fine. Let’s just get all the costumes out and….

INNKEEPER: My mom didn’t have time to make any of the costumes yet.

DIRECTOR: What? Oh, for crying out loud I gave her a week, what more does she need? … OK, you know what it doesn’t matter. There’s still time. What about the props?

JOSEPH: Um, no props either. My dad’s been really busy at work and… well… yeah.

MUSIC LEADER: {trying to salvage a bad day} Hey, let’s not worry about the props and costumes I’ve got some songs picked out… maybe we should try one of those?

DIRECTOR: Yeah, go ahead.

MUSIC LEADER: OK everyone let’s do “O Little Town of Bethlehem” it’s on page 250 in the hymnal.

Everyone sings “O Little Town of Bethlehem”We found it comical for the Director to try and sit the song out, but the music leader made him sing, it was hillarious when he clearly sang off key on purpose.

MUSIC LEADER : OK, that was… well there’s still time to practice isn’t’ there… that’ll be good.

NARRATOR : So when is that supposed to be at?

MUSIC LEADER : Oh, we’ll do that one right after you read the opening.

NARRATOR : {looks at notes} OH, OK: um… “The narrator stands to one side of the stage {moves over} with a microphone {takes microphone}…
This is the story of the first Christmas – the night Jesus Christ was born. We celebrate this to remember the hope and joy that this tiny baby brought to the world on that extraordinary night in Bethlehem almost 2000 years ago.

MARY: {pointing at notes } It says I’m supposed to be sweeping the floor, but I haven’t got a broom.

DIRECTOR: Don’t worry about the broom, we’ll get props later {looks at Joseph}

JOSEPH: Hey don’t look at me, it’s not my fault.

NARRATOR: Can we at least move on? OK, so it says here that Mary’s sweeping and an angel…

ANGEL: That’s me! I get to visit Mary and tell her she’s going to have a baby.

MARY: That’s just weird!

DIRECTOR: It’s only a play!

NARRATOR: OK, let’s just skip past Mary agreeing to have Jesus and Joseph finding out about it. ON to the census! Now the Roman government called for a census and everyone had to return to his own town to be counted for taxes. Mary and Joseph had to go to Bethlehem the city of David. While they were there it was time for Mary to give birth but there was no room for them in the Inn. But they found a place to stay in the stable, and that night she gave birth to a son and laid him in a feed trough.

JOSEPH: I thought it was a manger!

INNKEEPER: It’s the same thing.

MUSIC LEADER: This is a good spot for us to sing away in a manger. OK everyone turn to page #262 Away in a Manger let’s sing that through once.

Everyone sings “Away in a Manger”. Once again it was helpful to have the director try to sit it out, and yet again sing off key when forced to sing.

NARRATOR: {staring at the director} Can you say “tone deaf?”

The director just shrugs

ANGEL: Hey are we going to sing Hark the Herald Angels sing?

DIRECTOR: we can’t we don’t have any shepherds or any more angels.

NARRATOR: Well I can just read something about the angels telling the shepherds about Jesus.

MUSIC LEADER: Yeah and then we can just sing Joy to the World!

DIRECTOR : OK, fine – Narrator can you write something up about the Magi?

JOSEPH: I thought they were wise men!

INNKEEPER :It’s the same thing!

MUSIC LEADER: OK, then we’ll sing We Three Kings!

DIRECTOR: I don’t want to think about it – no not “we three kings”, this was supposed to be my big dancing llama scene….

Everyone just looks at the director.

DIRECTOR: You know what? Time’s up people, I’ve had enough let’s go home, try to memorize your lines alright? Alright!?

EVERYONE: {mumbles } yeah alright.

Everyone walks off the stage